Trying to find Mr. Darcy swiping right

First off, My dream guy is Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. Modernized, of course. I want to argue with someone and then they tell me something like, “You have bewitched me body and soul, and I love you.” and then we can go to a ball and dance. I also want to stand on a cliff at some point. That doesn’t necessarily involve a man, I just want to go to Ireland and Scotland. HA…

I have recently tried to be more open to online dating. I hate it. Personally, it is like talking to multiple people and not being able to tell whether they have any personality. It is very superficial. I cannot tell if the guy is just wanting to hook up, or actually looking to go on a regular date. Where do you meet people like normal? And why can’t guys just walk up to us and ask us out like they used to do in Friends? We see you staring at us in Starbucks. I know its not Central Perk, but get the F up and ask us out. If someone bought me a coffee at Starbucks I would probably marry them at this point. I would think they were my coffeemate. Get it?:)

I recently was supposed to have a date with a Surgeon. I know, they are assholes and have bad reps. This one seemed nice enough over Bumble texts. He was on call. I basically got stood up because he had surgery. Should I be more understanding? Probably. Most girls probably would be. They would be saying, “OMG hes a surgeon… he was busy.” I am thinking “He had time to wash his hands, so he had time to text I’m not going to make it.” I am so happy on my own that I basically need someone to give me a reason why they will make my life better.

Also, I am not good at texting. In case you don’t know me, I am blunt and sarcastic. I find it really hard to hold back over texts. I sound like a huge bitch over texts. Oh well. I warn them. Basically, I think I may be single forever. But at least i’m allergic to cats. So, spinster cat lady is not an option.

I’ll keep y’all posted on this online dating “adventure”?

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Why Judging Rory Gilmore Sucks

So, I just wrote an article about how French people are more accepting than Americans. It ended up being a piece about how when you get to a certain place in your life everyone expects you to be “someplace.” Lets talk about expectations for a second.

Have you watched the new Gilmore Girls? If not, stop here because this is going to be full of spoilers. I came across a Buzzfeed article by Sheridan Watson, who is a young woman about the same age as Rory, and a writer. But Sheridan appears to have her shit together. She’s a writer for Buzzfeed, and has some pictures with Tyra Banks from I don’t know what exactly. All appearances point to “that’s cool” when she tells someone what she’s up to.

The title of the article is Rory Gilmore Sucks. Yes, I know Rory has her issues. She’s a complete mess. The thing with Paul is stupid. But seriously? They are never together and if he didn’t get the clue after two years of barely seeing each other, he has problems.

And…What did you expect with her and Logan? Maybe for them to be engaged and living in an upscale Manhattan penthouse?  No. He has always been a creep. And she has been in love with him. You can see her heart breaking. It’s sad. When she says “We had a deal, no strings” It’s like, C’mon Rory, you are such a liar.

Saying Rory Gilmore is a horrible person for cheating on Paul with Logan sucks. These things are the expectations we put on normal people. People make mistakes. I will say that Rory Gilmore is a character in a show. Exaggerated for our viewing pleasure. The drama and comedy of the situation with the Wookie was put in for fun. But She is supposed to be at a crossroads in her life. Give the girl a break.

Now, I wouldn’t have been so mad about this article if Sheridan would have stopped at the affairs and drunken one night stands. But then she goes on to say that Rory sucks at her job. Can we not judge everyone for not doing as well as we are? One of the quotes from the article is “You Know why your big meeting with Conde Nast keeps getting pushed? Because they’re a huge conglomerate and not every editor can meet with someone who had a couple of good freelance articles?” Well, if I had a meeting with someone and they kept pushing it, I would be very frustrated and upset. Especially if it concerned my career.

If you watched it, you know that Rory is at a point where she is not sure what she wants to do. She is a writer, but ends up finally figuring out she wants to write a book about her and Lorelai. After that, they get in a fight about what can go in the book. In the Buzzfeed article, Rory is called a bitch because she gets in a fight with her mom. So, every daughter in the world in now a bitch. That is real life, so I really don’t know how that is justified to be in there.

She is also called out for being a “complainer.” There is one time when she talks to Jess about her situation. That is when he helps her figure out her next step. Writing a book. I am in the process of figuring out my next step.The thing that helps me the most now is talking to people. You can call it complaining, but I call it venting. This Buzzfeed article was one accomplished writer seeing another fictional writer as a failure.

This article was me venting. The expectations that women put on other women is ridiculous. Even fictional characters get slammed if they aren’t accomplished or doing life “the right way.” I just wrote about how others in America expect us to have it together. They want us to be at a certain place in our lives. Well, get over it Buzzfeed. Be more accepting like the French do. They wouldn’t be so prudish about all the sex either!

FIN

 

 

 

France vs America : Who’s friendlier?

I wouldn’t say friendlier. I wouldn’t even use the word nicer. Polite may not be the word, either. I think respectful is the adjective.

I have been here for a while and encountered many French people. Many Europeans, might I add. Spent time around the “rude” Parisians. I find that all of them are nice and accepting. Accepting being the most important thing. They are more accepting of who you are, what you do, everything. Just not quite as judgmental. I am NOT going on some political rant here so keep reading.

In America “how are you doing?” is normally a context of “What have you been up to?”. Most of the questions you get are “What are you doing with your life?” questions. If you haven’t graduated from college, gotten married, or had a baby, you haven’t accomplished anything in life. It is also all expected at an early age. I had some rough years and may be getting things done later than everyone else, but that doesn’t make it any less of an achievement. Even before I moved here, 99% of people I talked to didn’t believe that it was going to happen. Even some of my family and friends. Remember you do not know what’s going on in anyone’s life, so don’t be so quick to judge when they aren’t doing things “the right way.”

Now onto the French. Why are they more respectful? They respect boundaries. I love the boundaries of French people. I have not been grilled about my future or past since I have been here. Unless I was speaking to an American. Also, I think as long as you are working and doing something with your life, it is good with them. If you have a plan for your future or even have several options that is ok. It is refreshing to not have people judge you on these things. If they are, it is hidden and you wouldn’t have to worry about it yourself.

Now, this isn’t how everyone in America acts. Some people are truly looking to learn about who you are. And some ask these questions and don’t judge. I want to point out that this doesn’t just apply to careers, marriages, and school. When some people get married they are asked when are they going to have a baby constantly. Please think to yourself: Do you know what’s going on with them? Does this couple want to have a baby? Are they having fertility issues? Maybe they just don’t want a baby because they are so in love that they want to hang out and watch Netflix without a baby. You don’t know their life. Boundaries people. 🙂

Having dinner with French people is better, also. When you are finished with the meal they ask if you want cheese, and then ask if you would like yogurt. I know this doesn’t seem like a big deal, but when I say no they ask again to make sure. In America, desert every night is frowned upon. If someone turned it down no one would offer it again.  When I don’t finish my plate they say “did you like it?” and “Are you still hungry?” as opposed to nothing.  I think this is more of my host family worrying about me, but this has been nice. Maybe if we didn’t deprive ourselves so much we would be healthier. I have lost weight since I have been here. Eat some dessert everyone.

The conclusion is that unless you know what is going on in someone’s life, do not judge or ask questions that you shouldn’t. A sincere “How are you?” and a “How’s your family?” is the best conversation that I have with people from Louisiana. Who I think definitely are the friendliest people. We just might not have boundaries. 🙂

I also want to say I couldn’t be happier for those in my life who are married and have kids. If I end up being a mom, I could only aspire to be as good as my sister. To raise a child who is the sweetest boy I know and one who can convince a nanny that he doesn’t have school at 3 years old. They are the best kids ever.