In my last blog entry I was talking about dating. I’m trying to be more open to people. I am like a super sarcastic seemingly nice person, with a huge brick wall around me. Actually, let’s change that to marble, it’s harder to crack. If someone breaks through, it will be a miracle.
I was thinking about how much shit I have been through. How much I would have to trust someone to tell them all of that. If I thought about my past as baggage, I would have to pay a shitton of extra fees. I was so weighed down it’s not even funny. Now, my life is so light and breezy I only need a carry on. There is maybe a handful of people that know ALL about me – People that know everything. I have some amazing family and friends. To find someone on their level, who I respect and love as much as these amazing people, seems daunting.
I don’t think about it very much, though. I have dreams that don’t involve this. I think about traveling and being a flight attendant more than anything. I think that is part of the problem. I don’t want anyone to get in the way of that. I am definitely not the girl who puts dreams on hold for someone. Trust me, I will resist liking someone as much as possible.
The best part of being more open to people in general is that I have made amazing new friends. More people that are teaching me to be open with my life. People that are funny and honest. I tell them my shit and they tell me theirs. Because let’s face it, we all have baggage.
Good or bad.
First off, My dream guy is Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. Modernized, of course. I want to argue with someone and then they tell me something like, “You have bewitched me body and soul, and I love you.” and then we can go to a ball and dance. I also want to stand on a cliff at some point. That doesn’t necessarily involve a man, I just want to go to Ireland and Scotland. HA…
I have recently tried to be more open to online dating. I hate it. Personally, it is like talking to multiple people and not being able to tell whether they have any personality. It is very superficial. I cannot tell if the guy is just wanting to hook up, or actually looking to go on a regular date. Where do you meet people like normal? And why can’t guys just walk up to us and ask us out like they used to do in Friends? We see you staring at us in Starbucks. I know its not Central Perk, but get the F up and ask us out. If someone bought me a coffee at Starbucks I would probably marry them at this point. I would think they were my coffeemate. Get it?:)
I recently was supposed to have a date with a Surgeon. I know, they are assholes and have bad reps. This one seemed nice enough over Bumble texts. He was on call. I basically got stood up because he had surgery. Should I be more understanding? Probably. Most girls probably would be. They would be saying, “OMG hes a surgeon… he was busy.” I am thinking “He had time to wash his hands, so he had time to text I’m not going to make it.” I am so happy on my own that I basically need someone to give me a reason why they will make my life better.
Also, I am not good at texting. In case you don’t know me, I am blunt and sarcastic. I find it really hard to hold back over texts. I sound like a huge bitch over texts. Oh well. I warn them. Basically, I think I may be single forever. But at least i’m allergic to cats. So, spinster cat lady is not an option.
I’ll keep y’all posted on this online dating “adventure”?